When I started planning my May 2007 wedding, I was overwhelmed with the amount of time, energy, and efforts that went into planning a wedding.  My wedding was put together in 3 months, we started planning in February and got married in May and needless to say those three months were the most hectic, tiring, and overall crazy months I have been through.  We wanted to cut corners for my wedding, but one aspect that I refused to was photography.  I have always been interested in photography and love taking photos of my own, so it made perfect sense that photography would be one thing that I would choose wisely and carefully.

Planning a South Asian wedding can be difficult, especially in a community where there haven’t been very many South Asian weddings before.  As I was one of the earlier ones to get married (I got married when I was 20), it was difficult to rely on what others used. Most of my friends were sophomores in college still and none of them married, so unfortunately I couldn’t rely on them to provide me with any feedback or suggestions for photogs.

My dad and I eventually began our struggle to find a great photographer who would understand our needs and wants for a Bangladeshi wedding.  We had all received suggestions from my flower coordinator who happened to be a Persian woman.  She had suggested a Lebanese photographer and upon her suggestion, my dad and I went and visited his office.  This guy had incredible photographs that he had taken for weddings he worked on and I immediately fell in love. However, the package I wanted was $8,000 and while I wanted photography to be an integral aspect of my wedding—I definitely wasn’t willing to place that huge of a dent in my parents’ pockets!

Eventually, our floral coordinator had given us the number of a Gujrati photographer located out in San Fernando Valley and not too far from my house.  My dad and I went to his office—at first it seemed really dingy—located almost in remote area near a liquor store and we were a bit taken back at first.  When we walked into the Gujrati photographer’s office, it was a mess—a COMPLETE mess! An OCD person like myself could not stand to sit in there for very long, but I had to.  Despite the mess, the photographer showed us his work and videos (he did both—covered photography and videography) and I had ABSOLUTELY fallen in love with his work.  This photographs were amazing! Since he was South Asian himself, I think he knew more of what his peers would want and like in wedding photographs.  There were incredible pictures of mendhi, details, sarees, etc and I just had to have this
photographer for my wedding.

My father and the man bargained (I’m sure your South Asian parents do as well!) and came to an agreement and settled on a price.  For $3,800, I was getting a DVD of all my events: our combined Holud, our Akth and our Wedding Reception along with unlimited photos that he would be taking during all three of those events.  While wedding photography prices seem to be rising every year, we thought this was a reasonable package and decided right away that we had wanted it.

My horrors did not start until my Holud…little did I know, the photographer I had booked did not end up showing up, but instead a man to whom he had outsourced the job to.  I was so incredibly furious I didn’t know what to do.  Should I be enjoying my wedding day or holding a grudge against a man who had not delivered properly?!  At all three of our events we had a photographer who had absolutely no business being there—he was a fulltime Mechanical Engineer and a part time amateur photographer.  Throughout our wedding, we had to call the photographer to take pictures and he seemed to disappear often, which was very unprofessional!

When I received my prints I was incredibly disappointed… I knew they wouldn’t be as great as the ones I had seen in the office, but I didn’t expect what I had gotten.  I had felt like all the money set aside for the photography had gone to waste.  However, our DVDs did end up being really nice due to the fact that the original guy that we signed a contract with had done it himself.  We also didn’t get our photos and DVD until about 7 months after our wedding, which I thought was way too long!

Moral of the anecdote—when choosing vendors, whether it be photography, makeup, hair, any sort of vendor—make sure you know exactly who will be showing up on your wedding day—you do not want to re-live my photog horror story!!

- S., 22, CA
If you have a sweet or sour story about a wedding vendor, your bridal party or anything else related to your wedding, email us at thesaricladbride@gmail.com! We promise to leave your name annonymous–all we need is your first initial, age, city and state.

 I can’t bargain to save my life, and I usually get suckered in at the slightest mention of a “discount” or “sale.” So, I am pretty easily sold—not a good thing when I should be negotiating better prices with my wedding vendors. Luckily, many of my close friends and family members have tied the knot recently and they’ve provided me with tons of useful information. They know most of the local vendors can give great referrals and one of my friends even created her own wedding planning book that I am free to use!

So, definitely don’t forget to use your friends and family members for referrals—there’s no better testimonial than that of a friend or relative. By far, the best wedding advice I’ve received has been from my inner circle Here are just a few pieces of advice I’ve found so valuable and wanted to share with you:

Look for variety and quality.
“This may seem obvious, but look at a vendor’s past work. I knew I hit a homerun with my florist and my makeup artist because I saw each one of their portfolios, which were filled with beautiful and varied styles. The reason why variety is so crucial is because it shows that a vendor can accommodate different tastes and styles. The red flags should have gone up when I was dealing with my entertainment company—they did not have a single video clip of the DJ they assigned to my wedding—and lo and behold, my DJ sucked! So, look for proof of quality before signing on!”

Jennifer K., Kentucky, 26

Make sure to schedule a trial run.
“Always, always do a makeup and a hair trial before your big day. You want to make sure you know exactly who and what you’re working with and if you don’t like something during your trial, you can make sure to correct it ahead of time. Your wedding day is no time for surprises!”

Know who and what you’re getting.
“Make sure the person you booked is the one who actually shows up at your wedding. I personally dealt with a shady photographer who had outsourced my wedding to someone that I hadn’t met prior to my wedding day! Talk about aggravating.”

Sumaiya Z. K., California, 23

Give references.
“If the vendor was referred to you, make sure you tell them that! Companies often offer great discounts if you’re a friend or family member of one of their previous clients. If possible, find out how much your friend or relative was charged and use that as a bargaining tool.”

Nancy T., New York, 29

Give yourself choices.
“I would recommend seeing at least three vendors per category but no more than five. You might fall in love with the first one you visit, but after meeting the second and third vendor you might realize that the first one was overpriced and mediocre, or the opposite might happen. You don’t want to see more than five vendors in a category because:

1. It’s a waste of time.
2. You will have too many choices, making it harder to figure out what you want.

The second thing I would recommend is seeing all the vendors for each category on the same day so that comparisons are fresh in your mind.”

Bibi B., Queens, NY, 24

Check your enthusiasm.
“Try not to show how much you love a particular vendor until the contract is signed. There is always room to bargain, so you don’t want them to think they have it in the bag. Make sure to tell vendors that they are one of many you are looking in to and that you are shopping around for the best price. Even if you do like what the vendor has to offer, come back in a week or two with an example of a better offer. I am sure your favorite vendor will make an effort to match that price!”

Find someone you “click” with.
“What was most important to me while planning my wedding was to get along with my vendors. If I found a vendor was full of his or her own ideas and completely disregarded mine, then I knew I was headed for trouble. So make sure your wedding service provider is really listening to you!”

Raisa A., Michigan, 27